I got mauled by bugs today.
Specifically spiders, which are my least favorite bug.
I am covered in bites that itch worse than that thing I got last summer from a girl I was fucking.
I even have one on my ear lobe.
Me being in the wilderness is quite a funny sight.
In case you have never seen it (which you haven't because you don't know me) I will describe it to you:
I am sunburnt (and my nose is already peeling)
I am covered in bug bites. They itch. Bad. And nothing helps but drinking more.
I think I had a tick, or a chigger (I don't know what a chigger is but it sounds bad).
My stomach is dying from all the meat my family cooks with and I can't avoid.
I am allergic to dirt, so I have a wicked headache... which could be from the altitude or all the alcohol I have been drinking, either way, it sucks.
I have taken one shower in the past two days and it was ice cold...mind you I usually take two a day, so I feel like I smell like the dumpster behind my house.
Add all of that, plus being surrounded by an abnormally large and invasive family and I am basically in survival mode. Add my recent parting of ways with my un-beau and I am now surviving...on rootbeer and vanilla vodka and my aunts cigarettes.
Oh, and I saw a bear today. In the wild. On a hill, really close to me. I could see his eyeballs. And there was no glass between us.
Happy Wilderness...Back to the city in a few days. Where I will take a hot shower, cover myself in oatmeal or that weird pink lotion until I stop itching. After I am socially presentable, I will make my way to my favorite vegan restaurant and pretend this was all a bad dream.
(btw I am kidding about getting a disease from someone, that never happened)
To reference, a chigger... is like microscopic and leaves you with little red bumps that itch worse then Ive ever itched before. A tick, well.. if it was on you and not in you, youre good. =)
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