My life has gotten a bit focused and chaotic in the past couple of weeks...at the same time... consequently I have been come unfocused and weirdly calm about it all.
I am sure you don't wanna hear about my boring family/school/life/I moved the furniture around in my apartment for several hours because I couldn't sit still-- drama...
So on to the lesbotron 99 solo friday night adventure of Alice.
I went to the local lesbian watering hole, where by the don't actually serve water.
On a Friday night.
Alone.
Why alone?
A few reasons, mostly all adding up to everyone being lame except me. I got all gussied up in my favorite dress (that Woolf helped me pick out), wore my favorite vans that have massive holes in them (so they basically serve no real shoe-like purpose) and had what I like to think was the best hair night in the recent history of my hair and I went to the bar.
Where I proceeded to drink far too much whiskey, ran into friends I hadn't seen since the last lunar eclipse and we had a fantastic time.
There was no drama, minus me getting people with bad hair and worse shirts to take pictures willingly and some how made more "that's what she said jokes" than I have ever made in my life, despite my loathing for them.
It was great night of drama free escaping.
Then I woke up with three new phone numbers in my phone with names that I am not sure are actual names, or just a mashing of letters I thought looked nice (I deleted them). I also woke up with bruises on my arm and a tingly forearm, which I concluded came from me getting in a serious fight with myself, since there were no ramifications or evidence otherwise. Or maybe I just ran into a wall, got abducted by aliens, fell down some stairs or slept on it weird. Any of those could be logical explanations. Unfortunately I have no memory of any of it.
But before I fell asleep I drunk dialed unBeau and apparently laughed a bunch about a silly video on youtube and talked somewhat like a toddler. For which, I am never going to hear the end of.
I think, dear readers (if there are any of you out there) that I may be reverting back to my youth. By youth I mean, toddler. Minus the diapers, plus whiskey. Should be a good time.
Stay tuned, I promise to write more and maybe stir the drama pot for some excitement.
Ps. Fancy ponytails are curled, hair sprayed, perfectly pulled back to not look there was any real effort made to do so kind of ponytails. Awkward. Not ok. Just cut it off and butch it up for reals. Every time I see a butch girl with a fancy pony all I think is "pillow princess" and then throw up in my mouth. No exaggeration.
Also if you are wearing cargo anything and not 1. in the military and in uniform or 2. actually carrying cargo, please, don't wear them. Otherwise I will be forced to put my trash in your pockets.
Cheers.
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